Undivided Honesty

The Blogchive

It’s like whoa.

December 12, 2007 at 6:17 pm · Filed under Internship, Life, Personal

So I have started internship… and my life seems to be back like the way it is at college. God, I so want a break… By right, we have to do a minimum of 6 weeks of internship while we have 7 weeks of “holiday” so it is pretty much up to us to decide whether or not we want to work that last week. My lecturer recommends taking that week off, and forgetting about everything to just go havoc and have fun before going back to college the following week. It sounds REAL tempting, I have to say… but I’m not sure… Have fun or the money? It upsets me that I’m always thinking about money, y’know. But anyhow, I think I’ll leave it to a last minute decision (as usual). If I’m too tired (which I already am now, not necessarily because of work), I will gladly take that one week off.

I used to have a lot to say… but I can’t think right now. I’m not feeling very good, so I’m at home instead of work, but I am getting some work done so it wouldn’t pile. …man, do I need to sleep. I’m aching all over, like I’m coming down with flu or something…

…so, me and Will broke up. It’s an understatement to say that I’m upset. I am more than upset and it is not okay. I don’t give a shit about the “many fishes in the sea”, “trees in the forest” or to “get another beef stick” (lol, though that made me laugh, thanks to my colleague, Edward). Will is my everything, and I wasn’t ready to let him go. To be honest, I don’t think I would ever be. Not when he means this much to me. Well, it was my fault anyway that this happened, but it’s hard to go against something I believe in when I’ve believed in it for so long now. Maybe it’s cultural differences and what I was brought up to believe. It’s difficult and a lot of sacrifices have to be made when two people of different races want to be together (not to mention the distance between us too). I have been thinking for way too long and I’m just so drained emotionally and mentally. But that said, I would absolutely love to take him back if it wasn’t so complicated. :(

I do want to fight for this, William… but it’s not as easy. And I appreciate that you understand that. Thanks for being so wonderful, I love you. ♥

14 Comments

  Faith wrote @ December 12, 2007 at 9:29 pm

Pew, money is the bane of my existence. Or, at least, the lack thereof is the bane of my existence, lol. I find that if you decide not to ever eat or go anywhere or do anything, then minimum wage is plenty to live on lol.

  Jenn wrote @ December 13, 2007 at 12:06 am

Stupid money. My life would be so much easier if everything was…free. That’s cool that you have an internship though! I would probably take a week off before heading back to school, if not you might get too burned out.

Its awful in relationships when you love the person, and you feel like that you’re meant to be but it’s just the wrong point in your lives. I hope everything works out for you two!

  Cari wrote @ December 13, 2007 at 11:38 am

Hope your internship is going to go smoothly!

Relationships don’t always end up the way we want it. Even though your differences kept you apart from a relationship, there’s still a chance that maybe you could work things out. If not, make sure you stay friends and that you don’t end the relationship on a bad note.

  Lauren wrote @ December 14, 2007 at 12:59 am

Oh relationships….

Yeah my boyfriend is caucasian and I’m hispanic and there have been little… issues, but we mostly just stay off the topic, so I’m really curious as to what this cultural difference was.

<3 Lauren

  juetong wrote @ December 14, 2007 at 5:44 pm

hello woman (: first of all, i think i might want to work just for 5 weeks, if russell allows, i need a break before school starts, you know what i mean. and yeah, money’s a BIG issue right? but, between money and a rest, i think resting is more impt, because once school starts, we wont have ANY rest. it’ll be FYP FYP FYP all the way.

*HUGS* i knew smthing’s wrong when ive been noticing your nickname. but you have to move on alright! let’s attend more concerts NEXT YEAR!

  Drake wrote @ December 15, 2007 at 1:30 am

awww shorty.
knew something was wrg when u had tt nick a week ago.
“Short is Cute” mah…. u will get sumone even better.
Screw intern and go party man!!!
hahahahhahahahah.
man i wish~

  primo wrote @ December 15, 2007 at 4:03 am

in the end a lot of people end up worrying about money.
dont let it get to you & the best advice i can give is to
not wait until the last minute..i think that could be the
worst for anybody. however; i say go for the money
then have fun..you cant have fun without money right?
you might need a break anyway..even if you want
you can always study part-time during the break or
something. but its totally up to you.
sorry to hear about your boyfriend
but i hope everything works out for you.
take care & happy holidays.

  Morbid Romantic wrote @ December 17, 2007 at 2:48 pm

Sorry to hear about you and your long distance boyfriend. In the end, those things are for the best. If not, you two will find a way to resolve your problems and everything will be great again.

  (Olivia) wrote @ December 19, 2007 at 1:23 am

Sorry the internship is taking away your break.
Hopefully, you and Will can get back together!

  Kelly wrote @ December 19, 2007 at 1:28 pm

I too am always torn between making money and having fun. I should really find a way to combine the two of them. Breaking up is always hard especially when you are in love. Hang in there and stay strong.

  Dre wrote @ December 19, 2007 at 2:07 pm

Our internship is for 200 hours, a good 12 weeks. It actually took a lot out of my time, plus I still have classes to attend.

  Anya wrote @ December 21, 2007 at 2:44 pm

“Love takes time to heal when you’re hurting so much. Could not see that I was blind to let you go…I can’t stand the pain inside, ’cause love take time…” – Mariah Carey.

That Mariah Carey knew what she was singing about. It’s hard to get over someone, even if you don’t think things will work out with them. It doesn’t remove the memories of good times that you’ve had, or the part of you that is longing for that person.

Good luck with the internship and keep faith that you will be able to live without Will.

  John wrote @ December 21, 2007 at 9:18 pm

What is the internship on? And don’t worry about the love situation; if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen again. You should follow your heart, not other people’s idea of what you should do. Good luck!

  Angela wrote @ December 22, 2007 at 1:42 am

I hope you get to feeling better. I just got over the flu, but now I fear I have strep throat. (Thanks to my son, lol). It sounds like you are really busy, I do hope that you get a chance to enjoy your holiday or at least get to relax a little bit.

I’m sorry that you and your boyfriend split. It’s hard.. I won’t say all the stupid rotten sayings that you said you don’t want to hear, because they don’t really make it better. What I will say is this.. sometimes loving someone, no matter how much you love them, just isn’t enough to make a relationship work. And as hard as it is, moving on is sometimes the best, though most painful, thing to do. Honestly if you and he are destined to be together, then you will be.

Good luck with everything.


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